to my dearest friend:
ILA, MIMY, ANIS ,ECHAH and others:

Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.

to all my besties..

i thanked ALLAH for sending u as a precious gift to me..

thank you so much for all the moments that we have shared together..

thank you for always be there for me..

thank you for bring me up whenever i'm down..

thank you for always being understanding.. 

thank you for the love, care, and patience..

and most of all.,

thank you for this true friendship..

 i will appreciate it and will always do..

 

luvyousomuchguys..:))

 FRIENDS..

I never had a policy; I have just tried to do my very best each and every day.
and my friends are the shadow of me.. 

Those i love that don't go away,
They walk beside me every day,
Unseen, unheard, but always near,
Still loved, still missed and very dear.

 dear babes, Come live in my heart, and pay no rent ;)

specially dedicated to my lovely besties: ila, mimy, anis n echah..;)

THE TIDES OF PROVIDENCE

It's not what you gather, but what you sow,
That gives the heart a warming glow.
It's not what you get, but what you give,
Decides the kind of life you live.

It's not what you have,
But what you spare.
It's not what you take,
But what you share
That pays the greater dividend
And makes you richer in the end.

It's not what you spend upon yourself
Or hide away upon a shelf,
That brings a blessing for the day.
It's what you scatter by the way.

A wasted effort it may seem.
But what you cast upon the stream
Comes back to you recompense
Upon the tides of providence.

Sometimes I wonder why words can mean nothing and silence can mean everything.

No matter what I do, it's never good enough. I give all that is me, still it's never enough...

I want someone to know me, Maybe tell me who I am...

I need someone to break the silence that's screaming in my head and in my soul...

I'm trying really hard not to cry because every tear reminds me that I can't let go.. 

This is a time in my life where everything's falling apart..

I still get my hopes up every time, hoping that, just this once, you'll care. But you don't. You never do. And it crushes me every time....

There is no sadder feeling in this world than to feel forgotten...;'(

What you see is only half of what I am..

ohh guys..! it sucks to be alone..even there are a lot of people around you..Want my advice? Stay mad as long as you can cause once you stop, it hurts like hell.
Its been so long, I feel so out of touch, thoughts cloud my heart and head, I think and I think too much.
This is where I say I've had enough..No one should ever feel the way that I feel now.
Have your heart ever wanted to ask something, but your mind was scared of the answer?

Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in..
I've finally realized that this is just another lesson in life .. it's like God is teaching us that there can be so much better than what we thought was the best.. 
but the saddest is,i can still loving him, but always be wrong for him..
I have this great imaginary world, but sometimes I just need things to happen for real.....

Behind every beautiful thing, there is some kind of pain..:(

I did try my hardest,I can do everything and say everything, but sometimes people just aren't worth trying over anymore...they aren't worth worrying about... hm...I don't know why my heart doesn't do what my mind tells it to..And even though the moment just passed me by, I still cant turn away... last two days, which is 12.3 was my buffday.. i waited for u all day long.. but u were not there... u didn't wish me at all.. now i know that u already throw me away from ur life.. far away..even i still have family and besties that never let me down and always be there for me, but i dont know why waiting for u is the only thing that i ever do.. knowing u was the best memory in my life time.. everything i do keeps me remind of u..

I never knew until that moment, what it was like to lose something I never really had?? Nothing hurts more than waiting since I don't even know what I'm waiting for anymore...

u often told me that all good things have endings..now i got it....:'(

My BOY my HERo!!

if only u could have stayed a little longer..

if i had know this feeling is could have been much stronger..

and the hurt i feel right now  would be so far away..

now all the memories tell me that i should make u stay..

its just no good to feel this way..

i need u here beside me, and u said we'll make it last forever..

now i know that sometimes promises just fade away.. its like a snowball.. easy to make but very hard to keep..

now that u're gone..i wish u never have to go..the pain i feel inside me just go on and on..yeah.. i'm smiling,, but deep inside, i'm dying!!! ;'(

shh.. shaa in da house!!! ;D

HOLLA ULALA..
..full name~ fatin shazwanie but u can call me shaa  for short..
talkative, cheerful and hate BACKSTABBERS!! ;P

BEING A BLOGGER ??
..i always impressed on how people can express their feelings in writing, but now i'll be one of them..
never thought and never imagine how terrible it would be.. ahha.. em.. i never regret things that ever happen in my life coz for me, learning is a gift.. even pain is your teacher..

FOR SOMEONE SPECIAL...;)

SHE the most precious person in my life.. the one that should i give my love to.. my respect to.. and my honor to..after Allah and Rasulullah....
coz she used to hold me,clean me, clothes me, and feed me.. always be there when i was sick.. stay up whole night.. holding me tight..and she's the only one that can hear me before i could talk and hold me before i could walk..and when i cry... she's the one that wipe my tears, know my fears and she really cares.. she's the one.. she's my MuM..;)..
well, glad to  let u guys know that my family  will have a new baby during the eid which is 31.8.2011..
really hope that everything will be in fine.. Insha allah..

this evening my family came and visit me at Sepang.. miss them so much!! my mum said that she just scanned the baby in a clinic and he's a boy! ahha.. said that the baby is only 7.5 cm.. em.. smaller and shorter than my ruler.. haha.. but then, i prayed for god let everything going smoothly...--.